my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
