He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
