I wish my penis had an off switch
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
