omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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