I just made out with a guy for $7.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
