u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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