Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
