Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
