you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
