p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
