Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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