we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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