Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
