I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
