i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
