so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
