you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
