i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
