never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
