Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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