i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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