Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
