She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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