ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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