My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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