you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
