Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
this is an emotional support booty call
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
