everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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