i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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