Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I wish there were birth control emojis
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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