Having a random hookup so left but love u
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
