I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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