Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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