twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
