i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
