I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
