Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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