it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
