he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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