hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
