is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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