We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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