good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
