just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
