from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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