he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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