Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
