I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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