Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you didnt know i had herpes?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
