I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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