He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
whose parrot is this?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
