This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
